So you’re fat and wanna get spanked?

(Sorry, I lied about the next post because this topic flew into my head and well, that’s how writing works! My thoughts on bratting will be coming forthwith!)

I am a fat woman. Hush. I don’t want to hear the “but you’re beautiful!” “you’re not fat!” etc. comments. I literally am. I weigh 264lbs and I am 5’2″ tall. I am fat. I never said I wasn’t beautiful! I happen to think (most of the time anyway) that I am quite adorable and even beautiful. I just also happen to be fat. I am also a red head, a mom, a reader, and many other things. Though none of those other things impacts my spanking play more than my body type – except maybe being a mom and all that goes with it. I’m not saying it has always been easy or simple or without complication – it still isn’t, but I exist in this world in a fat body, and I am still worthy of having my kink needs met in a way that works for me. I wrote once about When Fantasy Meets Reality and some of the logistics of getting the kind of spanking play I want, while living in the body I have – and even coordinating that with the bodies of my spankers, some of which are much taller than me, some not so much, some large also, some much smaller.

Continue reading “So you’re fat and wanna get spanked?” →

Summer Break!

Oops. Everyone needs a break, right? I didn’t intend to take a break from blogging for June, but it just sort of happened. I started two other blogs after I posted my May Book Round Up – one about bratting (and why I don’t like it – ha!) and one about my first spanking ever, because June 21 was the 20th anniversary of my first “adult” spanking, meaning a spanking from someone who shared my fetish. When I posted this on Fetlife and in a Discord I am in, it occurred to me, some folks who are married to vanilla’s may never get spanked by someone who shares their fetish, and my categorization could feel alienating. That is not my intention. I think perhaps “first spanking with my fetish in mind” would fit better, but it also happened to be with someone who shared it, so that’s an important designation for me. I’m not going to share the details in this post, but I will finish that one and get it posted ASAP.

Continue reading “Summer Break!” →

My AMA…

Well, to be honest, I didn’t get a lot of questions. Embarrassing.

Someone on Fetlife asked: “What do you do for work, and do you like it? What would you want to do if money was no issue?”

My Answer: I am an Ops Manager for a tech startup. I do like it, because I get to work company wide and use a lot of different skillsets – I manage HR, payroll, benefits, procurement, monthly financial close, onboarding/offboarding, swag, events, exports & shipping…I like that there are a lot of different parts, it suits my personality. I wouldn’t like having to do the same thing over and over. If money was no issue, I’d get a PhD in Literature with a focus on contemporary post-colonial feminist lit, from diaspora to home. Or something like that 🙂

Another Fetlife question: “Favorite song to be spanked to?”

My Answer: I don’t really like music while I play. Honestly, I don’t listen to music much at all – I enjoy music, but I am picky and tend to listen to a single song or a few, and then turn it off. I get easily overstimulated by auditory input. I enjoy a very relaxing playlist when I want to rest/sleep/etc and I bet I’d enjoy being strapped to it probably. A stress relief situation maybe.

Another from Fetlife: “Favorite punishment you have received?”

My Answer: I mean? I wouldn’t really classify a punishment in terms of…favorites?

My favorite…interactions? scenes? discipline? is when I feel fully seen, exposed, vulnerable, and safe in all of that. Seen and held and cared for. It’s happened a few times and those moments are all cherished as favorite memories. To know someone sees you and your insecurity, your need, and can meet you there at that point, and give you the discipline that feels appropriate for it? Heady as fuck. As for details – forthcoming eventually in blogs, but I write about one such moment here and here and here.

And one last Fetlife Q: “Is there an implement you don’t like because it just does nothing for you?”

My Answer: Implements with holes – aesthetically I don’t like them and in paddles they concern me. In leather it just makes me think the strap has been ruined!

Plastic/delrin/lexan – they’re all sting and that doesn’t do it for me. I prefer really domestic and “real” feeling things the most, and these feel the most BDSM-y or gimmicky.

On NGL I got…one, and there was one I missed from a few months ago.

Q: Do you and your partner have a large temperature gap for your bedroom for sleeping purpose? And if so are you the cold room or the warm room sleeper?

A: No! We both like it pretty cool – we set our bedroom AC to 65-68 in the summer and enjoy having the window open in the cooler months. My husband is more tolerant of heat, in general, though.

Q: Thoughts on American cheese (particularly the deli kind). Does it have it’s place, or always bad?

A: I think it has its place – that is, the deli kind. I don’t like the Kraft kind at all. I also prefer white American to yellow, and grew up on it, so often choose it for Sammies – only choosing cheddar otherwise for them. Though I like other cheeses for other purposes.

There ya go – the nitty gritty you never wanted to know 😛 I will try and compile a few other FL AMA questions into other posts, as well.

-M