words and pictures

It’s clear, given the fact that I am attempting to revive the spanko blogging of yesteryear, that the written word is important to me. I’ve always enjoyed hand writing things and rarely took notes via my computer in college even. I keep a physical daily planner, I have a thing for pens. Of course, typing has its place. It’s not any less writing. Importantly, I can edit and revise and really make sure I am going to be understood. Hand writing is good for a first draft or something personal. I digress – the point was not typing vs hand writing but the written word versus pictures. Luckily, we don’t have to pick one or the other, but there is often debate amongst spankos, especially those who perused the early internet (Usenet, anyone else?). Writing – stories, long form writing (like blogging) and the back and forth of forum conversations, hold a special place. I have a vivid imagination that runs like a movie reel, so when I read a spanking story, it plays like that in my mind.

Although I “grew up” in text based spaces like Usenet, Yahoo groups, forums, IRC, AIM, etc etc – photos speak to me as well. Early digital cameras were a revelation. The ability to capture a moment, and ideally (or potentially?) a feeling, feels like magic. When I play with someone, the goal is never photos, but I do enjoy having photos to look back on if we manage to get some. I also enjoy taking photos primarily for myself, or a select few people I enjoy spank-flirting with. Sometimes these are casual snaps of my bottom in a mirror and sometimes they’re more orchestrated, using a timer or tripod. Those ones, often for myself, are intended to capture and evoke a feeling. I know photos aren’t resonant for everyone, but they really can be for me, and not just of myself. Because this post will contain more than one photo, I’ll put a jump here for anyone who might be trying to read in public.

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R/L: Asking to Be Punished

A more vulnerable post, let’s see how it goes. This is from pre-Vegas because I am still unsure about sharing those posts – but they’re written.

There is room in my kink for real-life punishment. It’s rare (feeling necessary perhaps a few times per year, at the most) but it’s there. My husband and I don’t have a “typical” (heavy on the air quotes there on typical) domestic discipline relationship because we don’t use spanking as a part of our relationship in the way most people think of when they think of DD. There are no rules or expectations in our relationship or house that when fallen short of, result in a spanking. There is no formal kink dynamic here. The times punishment feels necessary or helpful, usually it comes from me. It’s something I feel I’ve fallen short of, an expectation of or for myself, or a mistake/behavior I can’t move past and because of the role of spanking in my life – it helps. Spanking is how I access vulnerable parts of me; it can be one way to access and let go of some Big Feelings, and that’s how it’s used in these moments. I can give the moment over to this kind of discipline and move past it.

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Adult Uniform Collection

Someone recently asked me about my uniform collection and my favorites. The way I do uniform with Paul, isn’t so much about what I like or want (which makes it discipline, obvs.) but I do enjoy it of course (acknowledging yet again that enjoy is complicated). I don’t wear them otherwise, because it’s not about the typical naughty school girl role-play, and that’s what most people want.

So, my favorite is whatever he wants me to wear and will enjoy seeing me in – though I do have versions that I particularly like! I like the way the pleats of a kilt look more than a box pleat skirt, for example. I love my gymslip but getting my tie flat under and the sash right are added details. It’s a uniform, not a dress, but it’s not the most…flattering? item of clothing I own. There’s a part of me that loves that it is practical and functional and so very clearly uniform, and still looks cute without being about how flattering it is (and of corse, flattering is subjective because Paul loves the gymslip). It is not meant to be fashion – it’s meant to be uniform. It also makes me feel more like a child than any of my other uniform pieces, which…is certainly a thing.

Anyway. Finding uniform items in adult sizes was something I thought would be very difficult. It took some work but wasn’t impossible, so I’ll share here what I have and links where I can. These are not affiliate links, just me sharing. I am an adult women’s 2X or US 18/20/22, with a 44-46” bust and very wide hips and I have found options at all of these that fit me well, not just passably.

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