Tag: Spanking

R/L: When Fantasy Meets Reality – making it work!

[I started this several months ago and am finishing it off now and posting it. I also want to say, I talk a lot about the do-ability of a spanking over a lap on a chair in this post, and I got to do a fair amount of this recently, and have to say…it actually worked quite well. Physically demanding, yes, but it worked better than I expected!]

For many of us, (us being spankos) we have a core fantasy that has been present in our minds since childhood. Sometimes it’s a recurring scenario or a specific tone, headspace, or implement. I’ve already written about my primary core fantasy, as a fiction, and a bit in general. Early on it was a very parental, disciplinary style spanking with a hand and hairbrush, though I’ve always struggled to identify the reason for the spanking. Likely because I never really did anything in my childhood that would have realistically earned something like that – I am not being coy, I was terrified of being in trouble! The best I can come up with is perhaps losing my temper or procrastination (funny enough, still relevant). Once I was older, I wrapped my head around the concept of it just being good for me, but that took a while. There are a few others – bending over a bed/couch arm/chair in jeans for the belt, a hard hand spanking at bedtime in pajamas, and more.

What I have been thinking a lot about for a while, is when those fantasies, especially those closely held and for a long time, have a chance to become reality. Can any fantasy truly become reality? Are they translatable? I think a feeling, or tone, definitely can be. The logistics can sometimes be tricky. Wanting to feel small, not in control, seen, a little embarrassed – with the right person, the right level of trust, and the opportunity, these feel very possible. Unsupported OTK on a chair for a spanking that I physically fight a bit in which I end up limp and crying? Far less likely. Can I go over a lap on a chair? Yes, and reasonably comfortably, too! Unsupported OTK of the variety that is often fantasized about with feet dangling and hands on the floor (or also dangling!) can be really hard on the upper body. I’m not 18 anymore and I am not a small person! Even for someone younger or smaller, it can be a lot on the upper body/back. With some people, it wouldn’t physically be possible with my body type, but it is doable.

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Fiction & Fantasy

Like most spankos, I am no stranger to spanking stories. I literally cut my baby spanko teeth on Laura’s Spanking Corner when I was cough 12 cough. I devoured as many stories as I could get my hands on – mostly stories by SamPast, Haley Brimley, Mary Catherine (linked here), and many others (I’d mention more of them but since their websites no longer exist, it seems unfair – the three above can be found on their own sites – linked on here, or the Spanking Library – which I refuse to link to but recognize is quite the repository). I read these spanking stories and longed to write my own. Before I had a computer, I was hand writing them. Risky. I would rip them up and throw them in the trash. I couldn’t trust anyone so I didn’t keep a journal for any significant period of time. When I got a computer however, I wrote voraciously. Most of these stories don’t exist anymore and only existed when they did to get what was in my head, out of it. The truth is, whenever I’ve written stories, the fantasy has been incredibly important to me. Almost all the stories I’ve written are based on true events or deeply held, well thought out fantasies of my own – in which I feature as the main character! But that doesn’t always make for the best writing, if I’m honest. I’d argue stories I wrote in the past where I wasn’t explicitly the main character, are pretty bad – still mostly wank fodder and just not very good stories.

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In My Head

I promise, I haven’t abandoned this, even though I am not sure there’s anyone really here reading (jk, I know there are folks reading!). I am trying to remind myself that not every post has to be a perfect treatise on a given topic. It’s not like I am not thinking about spanking – I am, constantly, it feels like. Frankly, I feel 15 again with how at the forefront of my mind spanking is. But also, I missed this part of myself for so many years and I am glad it’s back. It doesn’t feel all-consuming, just…there. There in a way it hadn’t been for a while. There in a way that I feel like a more complete version of myself. I’m not thinking about it because I miss it and everything it brought to my life but rather because it feels like an integrated part of my being again. I know who this Marie is.

And this Marie is thinking a lot about what has become one of my favorite types of spankings over the years. When I began playing at 18 (well, we’ll go with that publicly) it was a lot of hand spanking and trying any/every thing. I was pretty open to experimentation, but I did always love hand spanking. Those early years when I was living in NYC and attending Paddles OTK nights (and MSA and SSNY parties) regularly, I was playing primarily with one person (whom I am lucky enough to still call a friend) and leather became the name of the game. The thing about leather, for me, is that I can generally take a lot of it. It was also the first way I was able to access submission.

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