Like most spankos, I am no stranger to spanking stories. I literally cut my baby spanko teeth on Laura’s Spanking Corner when I was cough 12 cough. I devoured as many stories as I could get my hands on – mostly stories by SamPast, Haley Brimley, Mary Catherine (linked here), and many others (I’d mention more of them but since their websites no longer exist, it seems unfair – the three above can be found on their own sites – linked on here, or the Spanking Library – which I refuse to link to but recognize is quite the repository). I read these spanking stories and longed to write my own. Before I had a computer, I was hand writing them. Risky. I would rip them up and throw them in the trash. I couldn’t trust anyone so I didn’t keep a journal for any significant period of time. When I got a computer however, I wrote voraciously. Most of these stories don’t exist anymore and only existed when they did to get what was in my head, out of it. The truth is, whenever I’ve written stories, the fantasy has been incredibly important to me. Almost all the stories I’ve written are based on true events or deeply held, well thought out fantasies of my own – in which I feature as the main character! But that doesn’t always make for the best writing, if I’m honest. I’d argue stories I wrote in the past where I wasn’t explicitly the main character, are pretty bad – still mostly wank fodder and just not very good stories.
I am not saying there’s anything wrong with my fantasies of course – except it’s horribly embarrassing to think of them being written down and seen by someone else. Some of them are inside thoughts – they’re more masturbatory than anything else. I have countless notes saved in my iPhone of hurriedly jotted down dreams, daydreams, and fantasies just to get them out of my head in the hopes I might be able to think of something else. Sometimes, they’re so clear to me, they do work as “story” – such as my post Like a Naughty Girl. This concept of a hairbrush spanking in which I am fully not in control is probably my oldest and most treasured and closely held spanking fantasy. The uniform and some of the language entered in from conversations I’d been having with a friend and play partner. However, it’s still just the spanking. I mean…not that there’s anything wrong with that and I liked writing it and enjoy re-reading it, and it’s never just a spanking, but the whole of the “story” is a vignette about the emotional response to the actual act of the spanking vs a more complete narrative. I do feel it’s a complete story, but I find it hard to classify it fully as fiction and I’m somewhat surprised anyone else would enjoy it. In that post I talked about my writing process and why writing stories is difficult but I have been thinking about it more lately – and trying to write fiction – so it’s at the forefront of my mind.
And that’s why I am writing this blog post. The fantasy is so important when I write that I often just give up any sort of longer form spanking story. What I really struggle with is fiction. What I am writing is often so me-coded (my direct fantasies and either include me or an approximation of me) that I can’t move beyond that and let the characters develop. It’s a major block. I’m not a terribly creative person, though I do think I’m funny, and there’s a certain level of imagination necessary for writing fiction. Every female main character doesn’t have to be me. It can just be a story and not about anything I want or imagine happening to me. That’s a lot for me to wrap my head around somehow. It feels selfish in some ways, but probably has something to with the childhood I was largely robbed of due to trauma, abuse, and poverty. There wasn’t much time or space to indulge in imaginary play.
Not all of my fantasies are so directly about me, though. I have plenty of thoughts about made up scenarios and situations that might have spanking in them. I am trying my hand at creating a fictional story world. I’ll probably post it here once it’s finished, but it’s so far, going well. There’s obviously always going to be things in the writing that work for me and relate to my kink directly, but I am trying to write a story I’d like to read vs writing down my own imagined personal fantasy. Getting into the character development, history, and specifically conflict has been the biggest challenge. Focusing on it has also felt very rewarding. I can’t say it’ll be any good when it’s finished, but I am confident I can classify it as a fictional narrative.
Wish me and my FMC, Ivy Bainbridge, luck!
-Marie
Nice post. Laura’s spanking corner still exists https://www.thespankingcorner.com/ I remember I enjoyed stories by Pablo Stubbs and Daria Little and James Stephenson. Many of those stories first appeared on the Usenet group alt.sex.spanking which I used to accessed at work in 1995.
What you write is absolutely true of my journey. I remember conversations I had from my childhood and teenage years that still excite me and that I now turn into a multipage fictional story.
One of my most embarrassing moments was at age 6 when my mom discovered a collection of drawings I made of a boy getting spanked by his mother. She told me she thought the drawings were very good. Now at age 69 I still hide my spanking porn collection on my computer in a folder called junk on a thumb drive that I hope neither my employee nor my neighbor won’t go digging through when they are trying to locate some financial information I’ve asked them to look at. Good luck in your journal.
Hi Winds – I know Laura’s Spanking Corner still exists, that’s why I linked it here! I wasn’t old enough to be around for ASS but I accessed SSS later and became a moderator in 2008 – until the end! A lot of those writers became friends, which I’m grateful for.
It’s so much easier to keep files private on computers now, for which I am *also* grateful. I hope you feel less like you have to hide things!
Wow I’m impressed. I had no idea those news groups were moderated. When I worked for Sun Microsystems we had a saying “The internet is forever” meaning if you post something on ASS with your real name and email address it is going to be there forever.
I actually don’t think ASS was. That is one reason SSS was started by a small group from ASS. You can still access a lot of it, too.
Nothing wrong with ‘you’ centric stories, fictional or otherwise, both in storyline and character. As you say, often there is need and enjoyment, in simply taking an idea or fantasy from thoughts in our head, and letting it out… birthing it on paper (or screen anyways) where it becomes something tangible; easily revisited, or shared if such is your intent. Writing can be its own reward, but doing so outside your own ‘kink’ or character reference, is always a greater challenge. Sounds like you’re making good progress.
I don’t necessarily think there’s a problem with them but they get rather monotonous. Stories can have things in them that wouldn’t be what I’d want personally IRL and still be good or even great, stories – I just struggle to write them and would like to be better, because I enjoy writing.