I’m Feeling “Droppy”

[I am not droppy, that’s just the blog title!]

Although this blog is really for spankos and most of you are probably familiar with these terms, I am going to expand on this one, because it is relevant for another post I am working on, that will be posted after this, about aftercare and I didn’t want to get sidetracked in that conversation. Maybe there’s some newbies reading here, or someone who never had a name for this feeling. We all know it’s possible to be “emotional” during a spanking – ie. cry, but it’s rare for it to happen from pain alone. At least part of that is because of the natural pain killers that our bodies release, which turn this painful thing (spanking) into pleasure (for some of us), or at least something we can physically endure. Of course, a significant part is also because emotional vulnerability can be a lot scarier and take a lot more trust and time to build with someone beyond playing with them.

So what is drop? Often referred to as “sub drop” (there is the contrasting “top drop”), it happens especially to bottom or submissive partners, especially after an emotionally or physically intense scene, but can be present for more casual ones, especially if someone is newer to play. Physiologically, it is the intense and sudden drop (or crash) in endorphins and adrenaline that you experience after a scene. To cope with pain – or intense pleasure! – your brain releases all kinds of chemicals. Not just adrenalin and endorphins, but also oxytocin (the “love” or bonding hormone). These are all hormones and generally “happy” chemicals and natural painkillers. If you’re a runner, these are what cause the classic “runners high” and it can affect you physically and emotionally.

The physical effects of drop tend to happen within hours or later the same day, with the possibility of continuing longer, depending on the play. You can feel tired and shaky, literally high, with a crash. Headaches are common, as is nausea. Dehydration. The immediate “treatment” post scene should include, at minimum, a small snack and water, time and rest, but what works for each individual beyond that, can be very specific – hence the aftercare.

Drop can be more than physical, though. Recently, I freaked out a friend by feeling “droppy” weeks after we’d done an emotionally intense scene with a lot of headspace. He was thinking of the physical, but I was referring to the emotional, because I hadn’t yet felt like I had the mental space to process our play (important aftercare for me), I continued to feel emotionally exposed from it. I think it’s less common because it goes beyond physically intense play or even casual play, so it’s talked about less. The intensity of making yourself emotionally and psychologically vulnerable to someone else can be unsettling. In a good way, but unsettling none-the-less. Handing them your vulnerabilities, insecurities, self-doubt even – and allowing them to use those as something to poke, expose, maybe even hurt – and put you back together, can last much longer than the physical impact (literal and figurative) of a spanking and the hormones released during it.

And physical and emotional intensity can go together, so drop can be multifaceted.

My next blog about aftercare and how I deal with these droppy feelings is inspired by Hermione’s Brunch topic from a few weeks ago about what folks do after a spanking. The concept of physical vs. emotional drop felt worthy of its own post though because it’s relevant to my own needs and feelings about aftercare, so I wanted to get it out there, and also pose a question – what do you do for aftercare? What works for you and your partners for drop?

-M