I’ve written in the past about how spanking works between my husband and I and how we connect, how we are working on connecting, etc. We don’t have a domestic discipline relationship of course, but I’ve been making a better effort in communication and he’s been making a ton of effort to hear me and see me and try to meet those discipline needs in ways that work for him also. This has meant a lot of play-play, and what most would call maintenance spankings. But on Saturday night, he caught me off guard – in the best way, and I got a spanking that left me feeling truly punished and chastised. Saturday was rough y’all. I was an emotional mess. I volunteered to drive 2.5 hours (each way) to help out a friend and it was the best decision because it kept me off my phone and occupied for a while. More past the jump and there’s NSFW photos in this post.
Continue reading “R/L: When punishment is earned”Tag: kinky
And what of (“mainstream”) sexuality?
I’m alive, I promise! Just busy and distracted. In good and not-so-good ways, but mostly life is chugging along and I am trying to stay busy.
I wrote recently – well, sort of recently? that spanking is my sexuality, but also so much more. But sexuality is complex. It’s not binary, as many think. So spanking is the core of my sexuality, yes, but there’s more to it. A little more than a year ago, I updated my Fetlife profile from heterosexual (which I never really was, if I’m honest with myself) to demisexual. What does that mean? Someone who identifies as demisexual typically only feels sexual attraction to someone after developing a strong emotional bond with them. This has always been true for me but I didn’t realize it was unusual or atypical. I can definitely find physical characteristics appealing, but I am not typically attracted to people physically, first. However, if I feel very emotionally connected to someone, I find them wildly attractive and the closer we get, the deeper I fall.
Continue reading “And what of (“mainstream”) sexuality?”What makes a spanko a spanko? What’s my fetish? Am I a masochist?
Note: remember, this is about me and applies to me and if something different applies to you, that’s ok!
Labels are a finicky thing, in my opinion. I don’t always love applying them to myself or my friendships/relationships, but their function in social proprioception and how we relate to the world cannot be denied. They can also be incredibly validating and affirming, which are good and positive things. That said, most labels come with caveats, which is fine – people are much more complex than single words. I think the only single word that describes me and doesn’t either leave anything out or assume anything, is spanko. I always thought that was a fairly straight forward descriptor for myself. It’s a shortened term for “spankophile” but which has been adopted by the spanking community as how we identify vs its designation as a paraphilia term. If you come into a room of fellow spanko’s and identify yourself as such, people know what you mean. Language has meaning and power and people understand this.
Continue reading “What makes a spanko a spanko? What’s my fetish? Am I a masochist?”