It’s been a long time since I was a “newbie” in the spanking community. Honestly, because of how I entered, I’m not sure I’d ever have classified myself as such, but everyone must start somewhere! I got online and started looking up spanking things, poking around online communities, engaging in forums, etc when I was…12. I got spanked for the first time by another spanko, when I was 16 – he was close in age to me, we met online, and he was able to travel for a few weeks in the US. My mom loved him. I started actively engaging with the goal of community building around the age of 17 (a few months before my birthday), and made a rather aggressive and bold leap when I finally turned 18. By then, I had friends, accounts, etc. No one who knew my age allowed me to engage until I was 18 of course, but after my birthday I had a lot of support. I didn’t so much lie as omit the information. I was in college, so I often didn’t even need to clarify whether or not I was 18. Not many people come out immediately when they’re 18/19, but it does happen. Those folks tend to have a slightly easier time IMO because of the beautiful arrogance of youth. It’s much harder to be confident or at least cocky, when you have some adult life experience under your belt.
Continue reading “So you’re new here!”Tag: spanking fetish
R/L: When punishment is earned
I’ve written in the past about how spanking works between my husband and I and how we connect, how we are working on connecting, etc. We don’t have a domestic discipline relationship of course, but I’ve been making a better effort in communication and he’s been making a ton of effort to hear me and see me and try to meet those discipline needs in ways that work for him also. This has meant a lot of play-play, and what most would call maintenance spankings. But on Saturday night, he caught me off guard – in the best way, and I got a spanking that left me feeling truly punished and chastised. Saturday was rough y’all. I was an emotional mess. I volunteered to drive 2.5 hours (each way) to help out a friend and it was the best decision because it kept me off my phone and occupied for a while. More past the jump and there’s NSFW photos in this post.
Continue reading “R/L: When punishment is earned”What makes a spanko a spanko? What’s my fetish? Am I a masochist?
Note: remember, this is about me and applies to me and if something different applies to you, that’s ok!
Labels are a finicky thing, in my opinion. I don’t always love applying them to myself or my friendships/relationships, but their function in social proprioception and how we relate to the world cannot be denied. They can also be incredibly validating and affirming, which are good and positive things. That said, most labels come with caveats, which is fine – people are much more complex than single words. I think the only single word that describes me and doesn’t either leave anything out or assume anything, is spanko. I always thought that was a fairly straight forward descriptor for myself. It’s a shortened term for “spankophile” but which has been adopted by the spanking community as how we identify vs its designation as a paraphilia term. If you come into a room of fellow spanko’s and identify yourself as such, people know what you mean. Language has meaning and power and people understand this.
Continue reading “What makes a spanko a spanko? What’s my fetish? Am I a masochist?”