Consistency and Expectations without a formal dynamic…

[A short announcement before we commence to my own writing – I help admin a discord server called The Woodshed Initiative and we’ve recently put together a community blog. You can check us out there and there are also instructions for joining the server (open to all!)!]

[Another oldie – I wrote this last September and am only now posting it – so it’s present tense just so I didn’t have to go change the whole post. Instead of using initials, which could be less protective, I am using the name Elephant to protect the privacy of this person. Also, it’s all past tense and none of it is current – I simply don’t have the energy or desire to rewrite the post.]

I joke with my friends when they talk about their tops and scene relationships, that I am unsupervised. This is true, in the sense of a formal kink dynamic. I don’t have someone that is my top or my disciplinarian in that sense. My husband feels adamantly (and I agree for the most part) that our relationship not be a dynamic, specifically not a discipline dynamic, because we have to do life together. Discipline is also not the most genuine manifestation of his own spanking fetish, so he’s not drawn towards it. He prefers spanking more for fun or as power exchange. I still crave discipline, though. It is, unfortunately for my reality, the most genuine expression of my own kink. I do love less formal and more casual spankings – just because, because he can, because he wants to, as an expression of affection, comfort, connection – but discipline is still up there. Would I like a formalized dynamic? Yes. It would be disingenuous to say I wouldn’t, but it’s unlikely to happen. Being play partners is great, don’t get me wrong – I am not down on that dynamic at all. It’s absolutely special and meaningful, but it’s not the same kind of commitment, although I’d argue there is commitment there. A commitment to talk and be open and honest, etc.

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QOTW #1

I want to start a weekly discussion series with polls. Well, it may not always be a poll, because I imagine most of it will be open ended and discussion based and unable to be reduced to a poll. But for this first one, we’ll go ultra basic!

I think it’s probably obvious for me: an ebony hairbrush. Though belts are quite present, as well!

-M

A little bit of everything…

I wrote this before I attended Oasis last weekend, so forgive the future tense – I am not going to edit it, but I’ll post my Vegas blog next week once I get to finish it!

I know I’ve been quiet – I’ve been struggling, again, unfortunately. Vee’s guest post was a lifesaver actually. My head isn’t in a great place. I’ve mostly been focusing on work and tackling personal things and luckily, both have been busy this time of year. I got a ton of comments on the Bratting Blog but primarily on other platforms and via direct message. Not so many comments here – that was a little unexpected but since my goal is to spark discussion, regardless of the location, I was happy anyway. It went better than I thought and I didn’t have anyone angry but a lot of people expressing that they felt similarly or had never considered that classification or approach to bratting. Another good distraction is that Oasis is next weekend and against my better judgement, I am going. I booked everything refundable but the time to cancel has come and gone. I didn’t sign up in advance for anything this year because of all the sadness and disappointment last year, and since the core friend group I used to spend a lot of time with at parties is basically shattered now, I am essentially going alone – literally and figuratively, Daniel can’t come with me because of childcare. I’m optimistic about connecting with plenty of other friends, but my anxiety is, unfortunately, in overdrive.

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