I’ve mentioned uniforms in all three of my posts so far (and my story!), but if you have known me during my time in the scene, my previous blogging, even my video work, that would probably surprise you. It surprised me, too! Well, sort of. I think what surprised me was my willingness to say it out loud and acknowledge it. I always maintained that I wasn’t into uniforms. After all, I wasn’t into role-play, didn’t like it, and what other purpose could they serve? School girl uniforms are ubiquitous in the spanking community. You’ll see a version of them everywhere – there are hundreds of videos featuring school girl uniforms from the suggestive, to the more-or-less realistic variety (though rare is a proper, formal, regulation uniform in a spanking video or even in the immersive role play events). The tone tends suggestive – we are talking about sexy schoolgirls here. Cute school girls. Skirts can be pink or purple, shirts are probably still white, knee socks may be rainbow, and the shoes likely have a heel. Fairly consistent are the pigtails – usually ponytails but sometimes braids.

This version of a uniform, does not appeal to me. It feels like a costume and to me, a costume means pretending to be someone else, or acting. In other words, it’s role-play and I truly have never been able to wrap my head around role-play. I understand for some people it’s a powerful venture into fantasy, but I feel most comfortable playing as myself. I have plenty of fantasies, of course, but they more often have to do with tone and how I feel after a spanking, than assuming a role during a spanking. Thus, I always found it easy to say it wasn’t my thing because the only context I had, genuinely wasn’t. I didn’t quite have the language to talk about my relationship to discipline and the importance of clothing (as briefly mentioned in my previous post) to that. Could I imagine a specific outfit worn for punishment or discipline? Yes – but to me, that was usually just a simple t-shirt or pajamas, white panties; or more striking – something very formal, a conservative and modest dress perhaps – the common denominator being that it was specific and decided in advance. The formality of specific clothing being tied to discipline had always been there, I just didn’t have the vocabulary or context to talk about it.

Continue reading “Uniform, Role-play, and Stepping out of My Comfort Zone” →