I have not been a *very* good girl.

I have been wanting to write about this for a while and this blog post may never see the light of day, but I am going to write it. Because I started it a long time ago, like others, I am not going to change the tense. But it’s not *current* since we are apparently no longer speaking. Amongst the turmoil of my time in Vegas over Labor Day 2024, were some bright spots. I got spanked by Elephant every day. I brought a suitcase full of uniform things and had hoped I might get to wear uniform for him twice, but given everything, it didn’t work out until Sunday, and just the once. I was able to change my flight from a Sunday night red-eye to a Monday night red-eye, otherwise I’m not even sure that would have happened.

Shortly after waking up, I received the following text from him: “Marie. I would like to meet at 3pm for what really *should* be your regular Sunday formal thrashing in strict school uniform. I will pick out your uniform when I get there.”

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Discipline: A first time for everything…

When I say I have been thinking about discipline for as long as I can remember, I mean that. I didn’t have the vocabulary or context when I was younger, to differentiate between the concepts of punishment and discipline, but if I had to sub-categorize my spanking fetish, I’d lodge it under discipline. When I first entered the scene, I had similar ideas of what relationships between spankos looked like as most probably do – my ideas were from stories and the fiction of the stories turned out to be just as much fiction in real life. The reality is, very few people successfully do DD or other discipline based kink dynamics, 24/7/365. I’d argue most don’t and if speaking candidly, they’d probably admit that. Some won’t – and those are also relationships that are likely unsustainable. I’ve talked about why a lot before but it boils down to the fact that we are all adults and even when giving up control and wanting to give up control, we still have to actually do life. Those it works for, are most aware of that, and allow flexibility.

Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.

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Where art thou, uniforms?

I have been asked a lot recently, what happened to talking about uniforms, posting photos, etc. This is a difficult one, I’m afraid. Uniforms are indelibly linked to discipline for me, which as I’ve written about, is not necessarily about real life things or punishment, but more of a broad structure, that is very real, but can stand on its own. Since letting uniform/discipline come to the front of my mind, acknowledging it, gaining a context and vocabulary for it, I’ve only felt safe enough to explore it with one person (Elephant). I have tried wearing my uniforms on my own, for me (and I had hoped/thought with time I would be able to do that more and have it be meaningful) but it always felt a little off somehow – I needed more time & practice basically. Last October, for complicated reasons that will not be made public fodder by me, he made it clear he wouldn’t be available for any sort of play for the foreseeable future. We didn’t only play with uniforms/discipline, but I only did those things with him.

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