This post was inspired by Hermione’s recent Spanko Brunch post.

There is often a lot of talk about implements in the spanking scene – even I am guilty of this. Belts (straps) and hairbrushes can dominate my fantasies and can occasionally feel necessary for me to reach my desired post-spanking feeling/headspace. There is something heady about bending over and watching a partner remove their belt or fetch a strap they plan to thrash you with. Then there is act of being over someone’s lap and knowing you won’t be able to escape from the hairbrush in their hand. Sometimes, it’s all I can think about.

But there’s something better. Something even more favorite. Bare hand on bare bottom. Skin to skin. Many people argue that a hand spanking is not enough somehow, that it can’t be hard enough or long enough. One friend would tell you that’s just poor technique. Another would remind you that hands are, in fact, leather and bone, so hurt plenty. Given my own focus on physical intensity, I’d probably say a hand spanking from most people, is not enough for me in that regard. My husband’s hands are large and unlike many who work with computers most of the time, they are not delicate. His hand often feels like a paddle might, but it’s still his hand. I love them. Some hands are stingy, some are smaller and more targeted. There is so much variation in feeling and in how they can be used in terms of severity and also flexibility on place. A hand is much safer and more exact to use on soft bits than an implement.

With the right tone/headspace, being hand spanked can be more than enough to remind me that I am not in charge. That I am neither too big nor too old to be spanked like a little girl. Hand spanking is so childish but also so convenient in that sense. After all, someone always has their hands with them! And I’ve always got my bottom. Being pulled over a lap or bent over to have my bottom smacked by only (I hesitate to say “just” when it’s not “just” anything) a hand, captures that childish feeling and is a strong reminder of the control I’ve given to that person. When I am with someone who is so inclined, knowing they can whack me (lightly, playfully, firmly, sharply…) with their hand whenever they want, is affirming. It’s nice to know that and be aware of it.

I’ve certainly met people who can’t hand spank for long – again, poor technique – and it almost feels like there is a reliance on implements in that case. You know the hand spanking will eventually stop, because it has to, but if someone with good technique and a lot of experience is spanking me, I don’t quite know when it’ll end, because their hand is enough, and anything else would be an add-on. Not always of course, sometimes, in certain moods and a specific headspace, a certain implement might feel really necessary – but most of the time, bare hand on bare bottom is exactly right.

It feels like the most personal, intimate, and connecting way to be spanked. I’ve been caught up for a long time in physical intensity and how to get there (usually a leather strap, for me) that it’s been easy to lose sight of this. I have been reminded more recently that a hand spanking can feel like a conversation and only further deepen a connection. That I can either be spanked to sleep with a hand or to tears, is a wonderful thing. There’s nothing else like that.

Plus, without an implement in the way, this leaves a spankers hand more easily available for more than just spanking.

-M