I’ve written before about how my husband is supportive of me playing with other people, because there are just ways in which he doesn’t want to play or his kink doesn’t manifest. So how does that work? It used to primarily be casually at parties which is basically semi-public play. After we met, I only played with one other person privately until fairly recently – mostly because of circumstances (privacy, timing, pregnancy, COVID, etc). It was also important that we have a strong foundation and he wasn’t as comfortable, early on. Playing with friends I’ve known for years, that he also knows, is much simpler. It feels like an extension of that friendship. But how about new-new people?

This past fall, I connected with someone locally who I had seen around on Fetlife for years, who I thought I might jive with – his name is Pat (and I share that with his permission – anytime I write about someone by name, I’ve had their explicit permission). We chatted a lot, I told my husband about him, and he and I set up a coffee date. That went well and we both wanted to play. Because I would be inviting this person into our home, Daniel wanted to meet him – completely fair! I have to admit, I was a little annoyed at first – not because I didn’t want them to meet, but because it required me facilitating it. My husband doesn’t really socialize in the scene online or attend many events, so he won’t meet people as organically as I do – this is unlikely to change, so this is the compromise/agreement.