(jk it is)
I may never hit “publish” on this post, but I’m going to write it anyway. Maybe it’ll be password protected, or only for subscribers. We’ll see. But writing is how I process, how I connect, how I make sense of things. I think posting this now, will, maybe? help with the moving on, the absence of the closure I want and need and feel I’m owed.
So, what happened? What’s caused all the heartache and anguish the last year…and a half+?
Continue reading “What Happened”I’ve written in the past about how spanking works between my husband and I and how we connect, how we are working on connecting, etc. We don’t have a domestic discipline relationship of course, but I’ve been making a better effort in communication and he’s been making a ton of effort to hear me and see me and try to meet those discipline needs in ways that work for him also. This has meant a lot of play-play, and what most would call maintenance spankings. But on Saturday night, he caught me off guard – in the best way, and I got a spanking that left me feeling truly punished and chastised. Saturday was rough y’all. I was an emotional mess. I volunteered to drive 2.5 hours (each way) to help out a friend and it was the best decision because it kept me off my phone and occupied for a while. More past the jump and there’s NSFW photos in this post.
Continue reading “R/L: When punishment is earned”
photo above is from @case.kenny on Instagram
What do you do when your kink goes from feeling like the fundamental piece of the puzzle to your sense of self, the piece that pulls everything together and makes you feel whole, to feeling like you can’t grasp it no matter how hard you try? The puzzle piece isn’t lost forever, of course – it’s too fundamental – but you can’t see it through the mess. The hardest part is it feels as much of a need as ever, but it’s not there. It feels broken. I feel broken.
Continue reading “Missing a Piece of Myself”