My earliest spanking fantasies – as mentioned previously – focused on punishment and discipline dynamics. I used these terms interchangeably until recently but was usually meaning punishment. Something that I’ve been working my brain around in the last several months is the differences between the two and why I’ve struggled to identify what it was I really wanted. I should probably start with how I define these two. It’s important to note that these are only my definitions and analysis – there are as many ways of looking at how spanking fits into punishment and discipline as there are participants. These needs are person specific!
Continue reading “Punishment vs. Discipline – how do they work for me?”Category: Spanking
What makes a kink?
In an old house in Paris
Madeline, by Ludwig Bemelmans
That was covered in vines
Lived twelve little girls
In two straight lines
The smallest one, was Madeline
I mentioned in my previous two posts that spanking thoughts and fantasies started around the age of 4-5 for me. The reality is, that’s as far back as I can remember, but it’s possible they were there earlier. I was not spanked (as such) nor do I have memories of seeing other kids spanked, so I don’t know what the catalyst for realization was – there was something, but I can’t identify it. Maybe it was a TV show or a book? Tom spanking Jerry? The playful birthday spankings common in the early 90s that I was subject to every year? Whether innate or forming at some early key point of development, I am unsure. I think, pretty firmly, that this is just how I was made – but at what point was that path set? I don’t know. I feel comfortable saying it’s “lifelong” though.
Continue reading “What makes a kink?”Fiction: Like a Naughty Girl
When I first started blogging and joining online spanking spaces, it was specifically to read, write, and share, spanking fiction. I was young and inexperienced so I am not saying it was good fiction, but there it was. Until a few months ago, I hadn’t written much about spanking or kink for years – part of that was being absorbed in school and part is because although I love to write, I find it very difficult to arrange what I’d like to write. Writing a research paper for school involved a lot of reading, note taking, and thinking before I would sit down and often write thousands of words in a single evening. This is probably the product of a bit of undiagnosed ADHD, but I’ve always worked well under the pressure of a deadline or some sort of external structure. Internal structure exists, but it’s more complicated for me. So writing spanking stories is similar – I spend a lot of time thinking of a scenario or story and it doesn’t get written down until it feels like it’s positively going to explode from my finger tips. Sometimes that’s at 4am and sometimes it’s in the middle of my work day. This one was written in the Notes app on my phone, as I groggily lay awake before my husband and daughter roused in the bed next to me.
Anyway, I’ve been dabbling back in fiction a bit and wrote down one of my most common and recurring spanking dreams. I have had this dream – or a variation of it – for as long as I can remember. It is the absolute core of my kink: a hard OTK hairbrushing that I don’t want, but is good for me, and is not about it being my choice – in fact, it’s better if I don’t want it. Now, this particular variation is heavily influenced by recent discussions and negotiations for potential real life play, and a lot of conversations about those earliest and most core fantasies. The uniform is a more recent addition to these dreams/fantasies so this variation is quite new to me.
It also explores a concept I intend to write about more and that is the concept of being an inherently good girl and not wanting to misbehave simply to get spanked hard. Hence the title.
I hope you enjoy it.
Continue reading “Fiction: Like a Naughty Girl”