A few days ago [reader, it was not a few days ago – this blog was started in March 2025 and I have only just not dusted it off and decided to get it posted], a friend asked me – regarding this spanking – “Did you hit that physically exhausted stage where you stopped fighting?” and it really made me think. This friend and I have talked a lot about this type of spanking (it’s a want/need/fantasy we share), and being pushed beyond the point of panic/knowing the spanker won’t stop until it’s enough. But what is enough? What does enough feel like? How do you know when it’s enough? I said I don’t experience that moment as physical exhaustion personally, but I do (and did) reach a point where I submit, let go, and stop fighting both physically and mentally. If anything, I’d describe it as an emotional exhaustion but I feel like description conjures up feeling tired, which isn’t accurate for me. Physical submission is much easier and usually comes earlier. That is the point at which many stop, but for me to truly let go, for there to be a chance of tears, this is the point at which I need the spanking to continue.
Continue reading “What Letting Go Feels Like”Tag: emotional
Hurt Me (Part 1 – a Poem)
[I was able to switch out the image of the poem for the text, by using the code editor!]
I titled this “Part 1” because I expect I will write sometime in the future more on the topic of wanting someone to hurt me. In the context of this blog – a spanking fetish, some not-at-all subtle masochism, deep emotional connection – I hope you all can understand the basis for what I mean when someone like me might say to someone else, “I want you to hurt me.” This is a phrase I’ve said very sparingly and to few people, but I meant it each time. The idea of taking what someone wants to give me (within a consensual relationship and negotiated terms) is so unbelievably hot. It gets to the core of wanting to be seen, not in control – specifically giving up control to someone else. It doesn’t exist in conflict with discipline for me – sometimes it can even be part of it. Submitting even when it’s not something I want, but something that is good for me, and being worthy of it, getting to enjoy it, like it, want it – feels like discipline for me.
Continue reading “Hurt Me (Part 1 – a Poem)”