A few days ago [reader, it was not a few days ago – this blog was started in March 2025 and I have only just not dusted it off and decided to get it posted], a friend asked me – regarding this spanking – “Did you hit that physically exhausted stage where you stopped fighting?” and it really made me think. This friend and I have talked a lot about this type of spanking (it’s a want/need/fantasy we share), and being pushed beyond the point of panic/knowing the spanker won’t stop until it’s enough. But what is enough? What does enough feel like? How do you know when it’s enough? I said I don’t experience that moment as physical exhaustion personally, but I do (and did) reach a point where I submit, let go, and stop fighting both physically and mentally. If anything, I’d describe it as an emotional exhaustion but I feel like description conjures up feeling tired, which isn’t accurate for me. Physical submission is much easier and usually comes earlier. That is the point at which many stop, but for me to truly let go, for there to be a chance of tears, this is the point at which I need the spanking to continue.
Continue reading “What Letting Go Feels Like”Tag: Fantasy
Summer Break!
Oops. Everyone needs a break, right? I didn’t intend to take a break from blogging for June, but it just sort of happened. I started two other blogs after I posted my May Book Round Up – one about bratting (and why I don’t like it – ha!) and one about my first spanking ever, because June 21 was the 20th anniversary of my first “adult” spanking, meaning a spanking from someone who shared my fetish. When I posted this on Fetlife and in a Discord I am in, it occurred to me, some folks who are married to vanilla’s may never get spanked by someone who shares their fetish, and my categorization could feel alienating. That is not my intention. I think perhaps “first spanking with my fetish in mind” would fit better, but it also happened to be with someone who shared it, so that’s an important designation for me. I’m not going to share the details in this post, but I will finish that one and get it posted ASAP.
Continue reading “Summer Break!”The May Book Round Up
Ahh May – a slower month for reading but I read all available in one series (more to come) and a rather large tomb at the end, so I feel good about it all. There was a lot of rain this month and a lot of distracting myself, so I’ve also played a lot of video games (Disney Dreamlight Valley, if you’re curious) while listening to these. All of these were audio except for This is Pleasure and Bad Behavior, though the latter is included in the Audible Plus library, if you’re curious, and I think Gaitskill’s reading of “Secretary” is excellent (though found her difficult as a reader of other stories in the collection).
Continue reading “The May Book Round Up”