I have been asked a lot recently, what happened to talking about uniforms, posting photos, etc. This is a difficult one, I’m afraid. Uniforms are indelibly linked to discipline for me, which as I’ve written about, is not necessarily about real life things or punishment, but more of a broad structure, that is very real, but can stand on its own. Since letting uniform/discipline come to the front of my mind, acknowledging it, gaining a context and vocabulary for it, I’ve only felt safe enough to explore it with one person (Elephant). I have tried wearing my uniforms on my own, for me (and I had hoped/thought with time I would be able to do that more and have it be meaningful) but it always felt a little off somehow – I needed more time & practice basically. Last October, for complicated reasons that will not be made public fodder by me, he made it clear he wouldn’t be available for any sort of play for the foreseeable future. We didn’t only play with uniforms/discipline, but I only did those things with him.

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