Tag: writing

In My Head

I promise, I haven’t abandoned this, even though I am not sure there’s anyone really here reading (jk, I know there are folks reading!). I am trying to remind myself that not every post has to be a perfect treatise on a given topic. It’s not like I am not thinking about spanking – I am, constantly, it feels like. Frankly, I feel 15 again with how at the forefront of my mind spanking is. But also, I missed this part of myself for so many years and I am glad it’s back. It doesn’t feel all-consuming, just…there. There in a way it hadn’t been for a while. There in a way that I feel like a more complete version of myself. I’m not thinking about it because I miss it and everything it brought to my life but rather because it feels like an integrated part of my being again. I know who this Marie is.

And this Marie is thinking a lot about what has become one of my favorite types of spankings over the years. When I began playing at 18 (well, we’ll go with that publicly) it was a lot of hand spanking and trying any/every thing. I was pretty open to experimentation, but I did always love hand spanking. Those early years when I was living in NYC and attending Paddles OTK nights (and MSA and SSNY parties) regularly, I was playing primarily with one person (whom I am lucky enough to still call a friend) and leather became the name of the game. The thing about leather, for me, is that I can generally take a lot of it. It was also the first way I was able to access submission.

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Lines as Affirmation

This is a piece I wrote to explain my headspace around line writing (in October 2023), so I’ve lightly edited it to make it “public” facing, but it’s something I think about often, since lines (and essays!) are a significant component of the real-but-not-real-life discipline I’ve done. Lines are not unheard of in the spanking community, but the person I have written lines for, has expectations for them. Expectations that make the act itself structure and discipline, not simply busy work – though they could theoretically also be used as a consequence, I don’t have experience with that (yet!). This was written after the first time I wrote some lines on my own and in a much less formal situation, but before the first time I wrote lines for real, which was pretty cool and came a few weeks later.

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Fiction: Like a Naughty Girl

When I first started blogging and joining online spanking spaces, it was specifically to read, write, and share, spanking fiction. I was young and inexperienced so I am not saying it was good fiction, but there it was. Until a few months ago, I hadn’t written much about spanking or kink for years – part of that was being absorbed in school and part is because although I love to write, I find it very difficult to arrange what I’d like to write. Writing a research paper for school involved a lot of reading, note taking, and thinking before I would sit down and often write thousands of words in a single evening. This is probably the product of a bit of undiagnosed ADHD, but I’ve always worked well under the pressure of a deadline or some sort of external structure. Internal structure exists, but it’s more complicated for me. So writing spanking stories is similar – I spend a lot of time thinking of a scenario or story and it doesn’t get written down until it feels like it’s positively going to explode from my finger tips. Sometimes that’s at 4am and sometimes it’s in the middle of my work day. This one was written in the Notes app on my phone, as I groggily lay awake before my husband and daughter roused in the bed next to me.

Anyway, I’ve been dabbling back in fiction a bit and wrote down one of my most common and recurring spanking dreams. I have had this dream – or a variation of it – for as long as I can remember. It is the absolute core of my kink: a hard OTK hairbrushing that I don’t want, but is good for me, and is not about it being my choice – in fact, it’s better if I don’t want it. Now, this particular variation is heavily influenced by recent discussions and negotiations for potential real life play, and a lot of conversations about those earliest and most core fantasies. The uniform is a more recent addition to these dreams/fantasies so this variation is quite new to me.

It also explores a concept I intend to write about more and that is the concept of being an inherently good girl and not wanting to misbehave simply to get spanked hard. Hence the title.

I hope you enjoy it.

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