Busy Bee

June has been B-U-S-Y! Started the month by attending the Scotland v Bolivia warm up game prior to the World Cup. Although we only live about 35 minutes from MetLife stadium, I missed the lottery sign ups and then ticket prices were way out of budget for us to attend. This was really fun because we got to see the Scotland and Bolivian national teams anyway! And Scotland played really well. It was a lot of fun. Going back to one of my previous posts, I tried the face sunscreen from the Korean skincare brand I use daily, CosRX, and had a terrible experience with it. I didn’t do any sort of patch test or anything because I have been using CosRX products for so long with no issue, but I wore the CosRx Vitamin E Vitalizing Sunscreen to the Scotland game, and the next day had a TERRIBLE reaction all along my chin, around my mouth, and nose. I was clearly allergic to something in it. My face was itchy and dry/flakey for days.

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April Book Round Up

Ok ok, I’m a day late for posting this in May but I am doing it! I’m doing the thing! April was an ok month for books. I got a new computer in April also, because of storage issues (due to a miscommunication about iCloud+ storage when I bought my previous MacBook Air) so now I have a 1TB shiny new blue MacBook Air and it’s been fun. Since I had the space and power, I downloaded the Sims 4 again and started playing – I indulged in some expansion packs, too. That kept me busy on top of the books and work.

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Checking In

I have my April book round up post in the works – I didn’t forget. It’s just that May has been very busy. Ever heard of the month of May being called “Maycember” for folks with kids? It’s because it’s so near the end of school that it often feels like the business of December/the holiday season. We’ve had a piano recitals, birthday parties, field trips, and lots of other goings on. I am also not being spanked so it’s pretty boring.

Kink feels so far away lately. When it’s lacking, I feel disconnected from myself and my identity, on top of my friendships. I’ve been struggling. I have, annoyingly, been having nightmares about Firefly, which is fun. Then heartbreaking dreams about Elephant. My sleep is absolutely shot between those and the other insecurities and frustrations invading my headspace. This has been a complicated year, so far. I’ve spent a lot of it sad and hurt and now spend a lot of it frustrated and angry with myself, back to square one with being unable to trust myself, my wants, my needs, anything. I haven’t attended parties, I’m barely participating in online spaces. I don’t see a point. Making myself vulnerable in this context is too risky.

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