R/L: Dear You / being exposed, feeling seen

This was written as (and shared with him first, of course) a “letter” to my husband, processing a spanking he gave me a week ago Saturday. He said he wouldn’t mind if I shared it here and I felt it fit nicely with the anecdote at the end because it’s an illustration of an example of what I am talking about. I’ve experienced a few other moments of this feeling I describe, and maybe I’ll write about them someday.

This is about being seen, not just someone physically noticing you’re there with their eyes, but seeing inside of you, to the core of who you are, your vulnerabilities, your insecurities. Being seen like this is a form of knowing someone. To me, it feels like a form of love, a way of loving (and I don’t mean romantic love).

It’s a retelling – but not in story form or even as a reporting – about an intimate, close, hot, intense, beautiful moment between my husband and I.

o0o

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Inside The Toybox

I shared a photo in my post about playing with others, of all the implements someone used on me the first time we played together – all of those were from his toy bag, though. One of the comments on that post, inspired this one, about my own “toy bag” so to speak. I’ve never quite been a collector of implements (er, most) so I don’t have a dedicated bag. At home, we actually keep them in a basket under the bed or in the armoire in my office. I have great admiration for the craftsmanship of many implements, but haven’t always had the means to buy them. Also, how many different paddles do you need, especially if – like me – you don’t even like paddles? It can be tempting to collect them, but I’ve avoided that, thankfully. What I have not avoided collecting, is hairbrushes. They’re the vib-iest implement for my kink and I own…several. My general preference beyond that, is for leather and the first implement I ever purchased for myself, was a London Tanners Domestic Discipline Spanking Strop – directly from the original LT, Ian, himself, at my first Shadow Lane party over Labor Day weekend 2007 (I was 18).

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The Spanko Experience?

I’ve had this post knocking around for a while and it’s been finished, so while I’m struggling to connect to kink, I figured it was a good time to roll it out.

A fetish is loosely described as sexual attraction to an atypical stimuli. There are all kinds of fetishes – spanking, of course, and feet, rope, panties, shoes, balloons, tickling, diapers – you name it, there is someone who derives sexual pleasure from it. Given the variations in what works for people’s heads, truly there are as many fetishes as there are for people enjoying them.

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