So you’re fat and wanna get spanked?

(Sorry, I lied about the next post because this topic flew into my head and well, that’s how writing works! My thoughts on bratting will be coming forthwith!)

I am a fat woman. Hush. I don’t want to hear the “but you’re beautiful!” “you’re not fat!” etc. comments. I literally am. I weigh 264lbs and I am 5’2″ tall. I am fat. I never said I wasn’t beautiful! I happen to think (most of the time anyway) that I am quite adorable and even beautiful. I just also happen to be fat. I am also a red head, a mom, a reader, and many other things. Though none of those other things impacts my spanking play more than my body type – except maybe being a mom and all that goes with it. I’m not saying it has always been easy or simple or without complication – it still isn’t, but I exist in this world in a fat body, and I am still worthy of having my kink needs met in a way that works for me. I wrote once about When Fantasy Meets Reality and some of the logistics of getting the kind of spanking play I want, while living in the body I have – and even coordinating that with the bodies of my spankers, some of which are much taller than me, some not so much, some large also, some much smaller.

Many people in fat bodies think they’re going to struggle to find play partners and I won’t lie and say the spanking community is perfect in this regard, but like I said in my newbie post, if you’re struggling to find someone to play with you, it is far more likely to do with personality and approach, than appearance, unless you’re unhygienic. I am literally more than 100lbs heavier now than I was when I first entered the scene at 18, and I was considered fat by a lot of people back then, too. Ahh the 90s and 2000s! I even had someone tell me to my face that if I “lost a little weight” I would be “every spanko mans dream” – wow. Turns out, I was one spanko mans dream in the body I had at the time and as far as I can tell, he hasn’t changed how he feels about me despite some weight gain since (I did grow a whole person, after all). In February 2026 we’ll have been married for 10 years and he’s considered more conventionally attractive. I would love to have more play partners (or perhaps a more consistent one) but I don’t worry about my size preventing me from finding them, really.

I have never gone to a party and lacked in play partners because of my weight. I have certainly been a barrier to my own play, with insecurities or moods or whatever. Also, sometimes, there is simply no one at an event I want to play with. The times I have taken a chance and asked someone to play without knowing of their own interest in advance, I have almost always been successful. Yes, I’ve been turned down. Yes, it’s entirely possible it was because of my weight or my body. Did it hurt? A bit. But I’ve also turned down people for complex reasons and sometimes that’s because I wasn’t attracted to them – though attraction for me is much more tied to vibes and personality and connection, than the physical. I have also wondered if certain people haven’t approached me, because of my looks – I may never know.

My point being, though, that you will find play partners, regardless of your body, if you want to, and have the right approach. What you do once you find them, may also be different from someone in a smaller body. For example, the chances of me being manhandled over a knee or shoulder are slim. I could probably do the dangle-spank over one propped knee, but the person would have to be considerably taller than me, and strong. And trusted, ha! I once tried very unsupported OTK while a top sat on a tall sturdy stool, but with his feet on a rung and thus his legs angled, I didn’t feel very secure. His lap was plenty roomy and he was strong enough to hold me, but I panicked. We laughed. I suspect if he had a separate stool for his feet, it would have helped. Alas, the only other stool available was one I needed to literally climb up to get over his lap since the stool was tall, as was he, and I am wee.

Can fat people do unsupported OTK? Sure, but unsupported OTK isn’t that comfortable or sustainable for nearly anyone, in any body. Even folks in much smaller bodies than me struggle with unsupported OTK and the pressure it puts on the ribs and back and shoulders. Someone with a lot of core physical strength will do better with that position and I’d argue going over one knee on a chair, versus both, would probably be easier because a spankee could support themselves a bit on their arms/hands. But I have done it, and it’s worked fine, I could even kick and struggle a bit. In fact, I did unsupported OTK in Vegas last year – for a few minutes – and it was fantastically vibey and headspacey. The result: my ribcage ached for nearly two weeks. Worth it? Yes, actually, but I laughed after I realized why it hurt, after worrying something was wrong because it was a delayed ache. Your body will use muscles it typically doesn’t on a day to day basis (like your intercostals, between your ribs, which can ache when you have a severe cough, and your obliques), so you have to be aware and ready for that.

I can stand in the corner for 10-15 min in a single go, more if it’s broken up (once I did 10 minutes, came out, sat down, and was sent back for another 10 minutes – my body handled that ok) before my back and knees simply can’t do it anymore – but those are problems plenty of smaller people have as well. Knowing your body is the key here.

There are also some major pros. I have a round, curvy, very full and firm bottom. I always have, but my size now has only enhanced that. There is more to spank and more to enjoy. I can play a bit higher up because of the fullness, without getting dangerously close to my tailbone or the “danger zone” at the top, so have a much larger target for hands and implements, and thus, fun. I have cellulite that dimples in certain positions, but I’ve never had a complaint for that. Everyone (truly everyone) has cellulite somewhere on their body and the bottom and thighs are the most likely spots. Also, having a larger bottom and thicker thighs means my bits are hidden, if I want them to be, while being spanked bare. I can simply cross my ankles or do other things and if I don’t want them to be seen, they won’t be. How’s that for a magic trick?

Every body is worthy of spanking play and everybody no matter their body, can get what they want in that regard. A worthy partner will work with you to figure out your body and positions and comfort no matter what. If they don’t want to or suggest you have to be in a specific position because of your size, despite what you know works, I’d suggest not playing with them. Body positivity isn’t so much about always loving it as it is about accepting that your body is the way it is and that it and you are worthy in your present state, without making any changes. The body you have is a good body and a worthy body and a body that you can do stuff in now without waiting.

-M