There was a recent discussion on Fetlife about embarrassment and spanking. The person who posted the status that prompted it, said she had never felt embarrassed about a bare bottom spanking and, the real inspiration for this post here was this particular line, “I don’t really understand the embarrassment narrative.” The good news is, no one else has to get it or understand it, except maybe your spanking partner, if embarrassment works for you. That’s true of all facets of your kink!
Continue reading “Embarrassment in (as?) Kink”Category: Musings
On Obedience (oh, and defiance!)
I’ve talked a lot about how bratting doesn’t work for me in my spanking play but that’s not to discount playfulness. I enjoy teasing my friends and loved ones simply as a display of affection, but what it lacks is provocation. The intent is not to manipulate the person into spanking me but rather, to connect with them. If someone I trusted wanted to whack me in that context, I’d be open to it. So why do I get spanked? Because I like it! I need it. It’s good for me. I am calmer, happier, and better regulated when I am being spanked regularly. I sleep better. I think all of this is true because being spanked makes me feel seen, cared for, loved, taken care of, safe. It’s not that I need it to function – it’s just so much nicer with it in my life. Uniform gives me access to discipline and the mindset/headspace it provides. Obedience is a big part of that uniform discipline but is also ever present, since I don’t only get spanked in uniform.
Continue reading “On Obedience (oh, and defiance!)”Types and Tones
Although the core of my spanking fetish is CP/discipline, I enjoy* a lot of different types of spankings. They feel differently but they also carry different tones and headspaces. I don’t know many spankos who enjoy only one kind of spanking but they do exist – I’ve left out directly sexual spanking here because it’s not a big part of how I prefer to play in general and tends to be reserved for specific moods and with my husband. That said, what people think of as sex or sexual can vary widely – for me, that usually means genital. I’ll be focusing on the primary ways I enjoy & prefer to engage with my spanking kink.
Continue reading “Types and Tones”